Merry Christmas

May the peace and joy of Christmas be yours... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dnrosVyamY
And, in loving memory of my daughter's beautiful dancing spirit and her favorite characters the smurfs, I bring you these tunes to put a smile on your face and joy in your heart:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oofM5ttD6c and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ASLQI6l27o&NR=1 and may you have a blessed silent night: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZUZ_twxVwY

Waiting

We all are waiting...waiting for our relatives to arrive...waiting for them to leave...waiting for the sun to set...waiting for the sun to rise...waiting for tomorrow...waiting for tonight...waiting for lunch...waiting for dinner...wating to be wed...waiting to be divorced...waiting for a baby's birth...waiting for the first word...waiting on the first step...waiting for first grade...waiting for a first date...waiting to graduate...waiting to get accepted to college...waiting to find a job...waiting to find love..waiting to heal a broken heart...waiting for a plane..waiting for a train...waiting for a boat...waiting for a taxi...waiting on a phone call...we're all waiing... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8xtoP2neSQ

Read this quietly then send it on its Journey…


To realize The value of a sister/brother
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.


To realize The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.


To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.


To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who


Has failed a final exam.
To realize The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.


To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother


Who has given birth to
A premature baby....

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.


To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when
You can share it with someone special.


To realize the value of a friend or family member
LOSE ONE.


The origin of this letter is unknown,
But it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.

Sleep Baby Sleep

Women's Health has an informative Website on date-rape drugs: http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/date-rape-drugs.cfm. As women, awareness is our best weapon against being victimized. This site provides step-by-step actions to take to avoid being victimized: http://www.ehow.com/how_2138984_avoid-being-ghb-victim.html.  When someone at a private party slipped GHB into my daughter's drink and she had a violent reaction to the drug but her supposed friends, people she trusted, decided not to call 911 and made the fatal decision to let her sleep off the poisonous effects even though she had seizures and fell into a coma. According to a police officer in L.A. , Californina, Trinka Porata, states: "How sad indeed to lay dying as “friends” just party on nearby." She states that she has heard of cases where they partied for eight hours or more AFTER their “friends” had already died nearby." This was exactly what happened to my daughter. Her boyfriend, Rapper Abstract Rude (aaron Pointer) explain to me that he at some point in the early morning laid down beside my daughter, who he said had been sleeping, and he slept beside her. He claimed to have heard her "shallow breathing." Trinka Porata, L.A. P. D says that those who party on through the night knowing it was GHB that caused the person to convulse and turn blue...they assume the person they put to bed would wake in the morning but "wake up...to find a dead body beside them... knowing it was GHB. REAL friends don’t let friends lay dying when help could save them... http://www.projectghb.org/2008/deathstat.php  It is unconscionable that a human being who acts like your friend and your lover could be so inhumane. But, then drugs make people do and act in bizarre ways and they justify or deny their culperability, and go free to live. My daughter's death made me painfully aware of the fragility of life. The loss and grief that her brother and I have suffered because of the senseless negligence of another, has scared our hearts forever. I continue to tell her story and hope that her story raises the awareness for other women. I look at the public figure of the Rapper with my daughter when she was drugged and died, and, I wonder how many woman have been and will be victimzed by this man. He sings music while others lay dying. Live life from Awareness. Remember all your power is in your awareness of your power.

Videos on Ghb

So hello from the sidelines. I watched this video made by a young woman who was drugged with date-rape drug and raped. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvOpN-QQs_U  At least there is alot of talk and videos like this that are coming out that help to raise awareness. I remember how ignorant people were when my daughter was drugged with Ghb. It is so amazing that Ghb is made from floor stripper. People can actually go to a hardware store and by the chemicals to make the drug. Here is a video on how it is made: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIRXSP73U0w What is even more amazing is that it is oderless, colorless, and tasteless. What you probably didn't realize is how widespread Ghb is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kiL3mNNjhI  I would like to speak to young college-aged women and and men and show them videos like these, one pictures is worth a thousand words, who would want to be in this condition: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAGN7ZPtwnU  Be aware of your surroundings and your open containers. Be smart and be safe

There is no darkness in the world for one small candle......

I remember the first time I was molested. I was five. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. The man who molested me was one of my father's friends. The man was drunk. The next time I was molested, it was attempted rape. I was nine. It was my friend's brothers and some of their cousins. The next couple of times I was molested, I was a young teenager. Those time were again my father's business friends, who had too much to drink. I was date-raped when I was 19. I had too much to drink and had asked my girlfriend's boyfriend to give me a ride to my house. I woke up in the morning and started screaming when I looked over and saw my friend's boyfriend laying naked in my bed; I was naked too but remember nothing about how I got that way or how the man got there. He kept saying "I thought you knew." I think guys like to think the comotose drunk female body that they are having sex with is really conscious. My daughter, she wasn't raped, at least that is what I was told by the medical examiner. My daughter was drugged with the date-rape drug, Ghb. She knew her assilants. She didn't know they would drug her to death. They poisoned her with Ghb. I see her boyfriend's name on the Internet and I feel sick because the police did not press charges against him or his friends who were responsible for her death. I didn't go to the media and say hey those were the guys that rapper, Abstract Rude, and his band. One of them put Ghb in my daughter's drink and she died. I thought I couldn't say anything because the police were investigating. But, there was no real investigation. It was a mockery of justice. What I want you to remember is that the people who rape and put date-rape drugs in your drinks are usually the really nice people you know: your friends, your boyfriend, your relatives, people your husband or dad or brother knows. They are everywhere. They are prdeators. It is hard to be invisible. It is also amazing how innocent it can all start out to be, and then there you are vicitmized. All the times I was molested by my father's friends I never told anyone.  I kept it a seccret. When my daughter was drugged to death, I stayed silent hoping the police would prosecute the guilty. They didn't. No one has to keep silent anymore. I am here, and there are hundreds of woman like me who want to listen, who want to be there for you, who want to help heal your pain. Don't be alone in your pain. Speak up! The more who raise their voices there will be no more secrets to hide. There is not enough darkness for one candle: http://www.pbase.com/selvin/image/29142391

Getting Away With Murder

I have been distracted and missed  not being ale to return to make post regularly but I have been focused on writing an academnic paper and have a thesis to start writing soon. I hope that there are men and woman who come to read my blogs. I write in memory of my daughter hoping to make a difference in someone's life. I write because I hope that other woman will come here to read my post and to post their responses, as well as their stories. I know there are other mothers, sisters, brothers, dads, and  families who have suffered because of rape, assault, drugs, murder, or maybe their child or sister or wife or mother went out alone and there was no one to look out for her and something bad happened and they never came bac home.

That is what happened to my daughter. Her boyfriend, rapper Abstract Rude, had left her a message to come over to his studio late one night, and after she had returned  from walking home from a club with a friend. She walked over to Abstract's studio (Ocean Floor), which was a block and half away. But her friend said that when he walked her home and said good night to her before she walked over to the studio, she looked radiant and happy. She then walked over to the studio. She walked there alone. Apparently, 45 minutes after arriving, my daughter fell to the floor at the studio. She was having a seizure and went into a coma. Abstract Rude (Aaron Pointer) didn't call 911. One of his band members tried giving her mouth-to-mouth, But, they didn't call 911. She died there. Abstract denied knowing or seeing anyone spke her drink with GHB (http://www.theantidrug.com/drug-information/commonly-abused-drugs/ghb.aspxand ) .He and his band members claimed my daughter came there high on GHB, which would have been physically impossible because she has just walked 11 blocks home from a club and another 1.5 blocks to the studio. GHB reacts in the body within 10 to 15 minutes depending on the amount. The amount in her body was significant. Abstract told me he laid beside her on the palette but he wasn't aware she was dying. How could he not know that she quit breathing? He said he heard her shallow breathing.

He and his manager and band members drove her to the hospital dead-on-arrival. The hospital attendants said the bands story was sketch and that the band manager dropped them at the hospital and then went back to the studio. My daughter died because someone spike her drink with enough GHB to kill someone and, yet, no one was held accountable. The police said that the band members were probably too high and probably too afraid  to call for medical assistance, and let her die. What kind of a man is Abstract Rude? http://www.myspace.com/abstractrude  I remember the assistant district attorney (San Fancisco) telling me that my daughter was "in the wrong place at the wrong time!" What an pathetic thing to say. He also told me "Well, if this was the midwest there would be a lynching but this is San Francisco and anything goes here, the juries have heard it all." Abstract/Aaron Pointer, his manger, and his band claimed they knew nothing about the Ghb but there were significant amount still remaining in her blood even after she died. Ghb metabiolizes quickly out of the body, but there were still large quantities in her blood. They were the ones with the GHB and they knew how her drink got spiked.

How could something so senseless happen? I am wrting a book about it. I already wrote a memoir about what happend but now I am writing a fiction based on the memoir and hope to get the story published. I will be posting chapters here once I have a few chapters edited. It is unbelieveable Abstract, his manager and band were responsible for my daughter's death but there lives were not interupted. They are out there making music and living life but they frivously wasted the life my daughter was living. I think there is a cultural bias among American men that administering date-rape drugs to unsuspecting young girls and women is okay if they can get away with it. The DA said to me, your daughter was trusting, she thought because she was for real that other people were too. You can't trust anyone with your drink or with your life.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEJYEauuoY8

GHB

Girls Just Want to Have Fun but Awareness is Key in a world where guys unknowlingly spike girls' drinks with drugs like the oderless and tasteless date-rape drug Ghb. Never leave a drink unattended or trust a stranger.  This YouTube clip demonstrates how easy it is when you are alone, vulnerable, and unaware: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZTS6xetxWs

Date-Line

Dateline did an undercover film on how easy it is to spike girls drinks: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2udrpuNxcmM  Be smart, never take your drink from a stranger. And, never leave your drink unattentdent. There are date-rape drug testers that you can carry with you to test your drink. This film seems to highlight the vulnerability of women in club settings.

Blog On

There are other bloggers who are speaking out about rape and date-rape: http://peppereyes.wordpress.com/2009/09/17/sexual-assault-by-the-numbers/ . It is our voices in unison that will eventually change our culture and awaken social consciousness and draw awarness to the issue of sexual predators who rape and who put date-rape drugs in womens' and young girls' drinks. It is not about sterotypes...neither victims nor rapists fit stereotypes. It can be anyone you know and trust, who will rape or be raped. it is a violent crime against feminine humanity. We cannot allow reports and statistics to squew reality. Rape, Date-rape, and date rape drugs exists and are a threat to the respectful dignity of the female gender.  

Amanda Hess Article - Inspiring & Insightful

I just read an inspiring awareness piece by Amanda Hess on putting to rest the date-rape urban myth and incorporate it here for you: http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist/2009/10/28/the-date-rape-drug-is-in-an-urban-myth-lets-put-it-to-rest/ Ms. Hess nails the fact that sex without consent is rape. Rape, is not the exclusive domain of what we think of as villians. It can be your husband, your cousin, your trusted friend, the guys at the office, your boyfriend, or other seemingly normal guys, says Ms. Hess. Likewise, rape victims are not just young school girls but also women from all age groups and all walks of life, including those who drink alcohol. Just because a woman goes to a bar and drinks doesn't imply consent. Rape is still rape. My daughter was not raped, someone slipped the date-rape drug, Ghb, into something she was drinking and she went into  a coma. No one called 911; she died within 6-7 hours. It is the predatory behavior that alarms me, and should be setting off alarms in our society. Woman are victimized and are disappearing every day, and are never again seen by family and friends. I have often wondered if date-rape drugs are used to render girls/women unconscious, and then they are transported away in their unconscious state to some hiding place. I found this article about a cruise ship incident of Ghb spiking and a young girl's subsequent death: http://www.cruiselawnews.com/tags/date-rape-drug/.

Is the Urban Myth Fact or Fiction

The urban myth study is still headlining the news. Here is a link to an exhaustive look at the issues: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1225854/Are-date-rape-spiked-drinks-urban-myth.html "The real threat," it says in the article, "is not what is put into your drink, but the drink itself."  In other words, it implies that woman are delusional and think they have been drugged when actually they drank too much. The research/study  indicates that "alcohol is far more likely to be a factor in rape and sexual assault than drug spiking." While this may be true, it doesn't negate the fact that drink spiking is occuring. One of the concerns is that while a "fear of drink spiking prevails, too little attention will be paid to how much women are drinking." This returns to my question: Why should how much a woman drinks be a contributing factor in date-rape. Rape is rape! If a woman has been drinking and someone slips a powerful date-rape drug into the drink there is a chance that she will not survive the synergistic affects of alcohol and date-rape drug. Then it becomes a question as to whether the woman contributes to her demise by having drank. The reasoning is not right. Just because a woman drinks or drinks too much she should not be more at risk for date-rape.





 

Date-rape drug Ghb Kills

I came across this May 2009 article about a woman who was unknowlingly ingested the date-rape drug Ghb and died. Two guys put Ghb in her drink. She knew the guys; she worked with them. http://blog.al.com/spotnews/2009/05/boaz_woman_died_after_being_gi.html It is amazing that there seems to be an effort to defuse much of the publicity about date-rape by pointing to the similar effects of alcohol to date-rape drugs. Like a woman wouldn't know whether she has been drugged. There are some who are saying that women who drink heavily contribute to date-rape. I don't get that...because you are drunk and vulnerable you are somehow contributing to date-rape. That kind of logic escapes me! Any time sex occurs without consent, it is rape. The message seems to be: women who drink heavily are at risk for date-rape. And, What about date-rape drugs? Some woman do not survive the ingestion of date-rape drugs like Ghb (see link above). Ghb is the drug that killed my datughter. She ingested it unknowingly. She also was with some boys she knew. Ghb is deadly. Don't be a statistic, stay informed: http://www.projectghb.org/2008/factsheets/ghbFacts-eng.php

Date-Rape and Comic Fodder???

There is no connection...date-rape and comic fodder. Yet, this has become the new "hot" media topic. Where is the humor in the humorless? Poor taste...capitalist...take whatever social issue is at the center of heated debate and defuse its impact, add humor. Social trends? What implies consent? Delirium mixed with explicited comments by a warm-blooded, drugged-out, female...drugged-out on Alcohol, Ghb, or Rohypnol...What does it matter as long as the effect is incapcitation. When does sexual violence become humor? Sick-sensed, should be the trailor for this engagement. http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/observe-and-report/red-band-trailer But, here we are 21st century and misogynism is still justified by a comedic sense. Maybe when we can calculate the losses to 1 in 3 women victimized by date-rape, we can begin to grasp the senseless destruction to the face of humanity caused by date-rape and date-rape drugs. But, here we are staring at the underbelly of life but that is not an image we want to bring into focus, it is too real. The dehumanizing of the very aspect of life that creates...woman. I am insensed by our culture, which minimizes victimization and finds comedic value in the senselessness of date-rape, even if for only 90 minutes on the big screen. It is a minute in time.

Date Rape Videos

It all happens so innocently, so quickly, so unexpectantly and, yet, there you are with a boy and he offers you a drink. You have no idea that the drink is spiked, you like the boy, you trust him, and there you are. The drink, what was it? You feel dizzy. You feel queezy. You loose your inhibitions. If your lucky you escape with your life. This video tells the story. http://www.break.com/usercontent/2006/11/Date-Rape-182852.html It happens. Or maybe you drink too much and someone gives you a ride home. All you remember is leaving the bar but in the morning you are naked, and you know he took you while you were past out. It happened to me. It happened to my daughter. But someone drugged her with Ghb. She did not live. My hope is to raise awareness. Here is a video about asking someone for a ride home after too many drinks...it happens, and it can happen to you unless you become aware of your surroundings and the need to always be with a friend, someone you can trust...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08uLS5SlfZg

Date-Rape Lipstick Detector

A UK woman has produced a new lipstick product (2LoveMyLips) that includes a date-rape drug detector: tiny slips of paper that you can use to check the presence of date-rape drugs in your drink. http://womens-sexual-health.suite101.com/article.cfm/new_lipsticks_can_give_wearers_a_red_alert  Another article claims that the product actually turns your lips blue if the drink is spiked with date-rape drugs. http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/date-rape-preventing-lip-gloss. Check out this site, Project Ghb, for more information on date-rape drugs and the aftermath. http://www.projectghb.org/2008/index.php.

Kent Universty "Urban Myth" Refuted

The Kent University study is sexist propaganda. My daughter, and other young women, have died because of powerful date-rape drugs. It doesn't seem right that studies like this surface and negate the issue of predators and puts the burden back on woman to watch how they dress or watch how much they drink. How does a woman contribute to her own victimization. Other experts are stepping forward to question what the Kent study actually does. Does it move us forward in our awareness about date-rape drugs and date-rape. What matters to me, is the devasting affect that date-rape drugs can have on the respiratory system. Not only do woman stand the chance of being raped but these drugs also kill. http://www.3news.co.nz/NZ-experts-reject-researchers-claim-of-drink-spike-myth/tabid/420/articleID/128205/Default.aspx?ArticleID=128205

Date-Rape Urban Myth??

I read this report calling the spiking of drinks with date-rape drugs an "urban myth." What about my daughter? http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/1999/08/31/MN87018.DTL What about the statistics?   http://sify.com/news/spiking-of-drinks-with-date-rape-drugs-an-urban-myth-news-scitech-jk1r4ceddda.html#postcomments. This reports sounds like a typical report written by men who are prejudiced and biased toward women and the veracity or their reports. It also denies a very important fact, which is women are vicitmized by rape every day somewhere in this country, and all over the world it is an every day occurrence. There are claims that many rape studies are skewed however studies indicate that the number of woman rape victims in America alone is significant. http://www.canadiancrc.com/Newspaper_Articles/IWF_One_In_Four_Rape_Stat_27APR06.aspx. One site indicates that 5% of women in the US are raped before the age of 25. http://almostdiamonds.blogspot.com/2009/06/us-rape-statistics.html . I am trying to raise awareness and hopefully create a Foundation (The Skylar Date-Rape Awareness Foundation) to assist women who have been victimized by rape. It is my dream to accomplish this in my daughters memeory. I haven't figured out all the steps but I know I am on the right path. To all you woman who have been vicitmized by rape please share your story and help us build awarenss.

Introduction

Hello everyone, my name is Cathleen Boyle and I am the mother of Skylar Boyle-Ringland, who was killed after unknowingly ingesting GHB-date rape drug at a private party in 1999. My daughter did not survive the fatal dose that was put into her drink that night. It has taken me ten years to pull myself back into life. During that time I wrote a memoir about what happened to my daughter that I am now trying to rewrite as a fiction. I consider myself a survivor of the devastation of date-rape and I know that there are other young women out there who have survived date-rape, as well as mothers and dads and family members out there who I would also love to talk to and share your experiences. I think that if we all join together we can help raise awareness about date-rape and date-rape drugs. I am going to get a digital file made of one of my daughter's photos so I can upload it to this site, which I am dedicating to her. Look forward to hearing from you. In the meantime, check out this link about the movie "Observe & Report," which has a date-rape scene. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/04/10/observe-and-report-dathate-r_n_185827.html I haven't seen the movie and don't know that I want to. I do not think this is raising awareness as much as capitalizing on it.